ANOTHER MIRACLE

WRITTEN BY DOUG ALLAN
BOX 212
MARYSVALE, UTAH
84750
(435)326-4326



"Mommy?" There was a ring of excitement in the little girl's voice as she looked in wide eyed wonder at the woman resting on the front room couch.
"What is it honey?"
The animation that had radiated from her a moment earlier had suddenly disappeared, and her only reply was "Oh, never mind." With that she flipped her long silky hair to one side and quietly skipped down the hall until she was out of sight.
Eight and a half months pregnant and extremely miserable, Brenda rubbed her eyes and tried to focus on the hall way from her prone position on the couch in the small living room of their new split entry home. She had been relaxing and trying to do as the doctor had ordered. The baby, due in two weeks, was more active than usual today and it was difficult to stay down as Dr. Wilkins had advised her at her last visit. She was restless and had just moved from the bed room to the living room, so she hadn't been asleep, at least she didn't think she had. She felt confused and with an awkward swing of her feet, sat up on the couch to get a better look of the dimly lit hall way. She felt weak and nauseous inside. She had thought she was alone in the house when she had felt the presence of some one else.
Her three boys were at the ball park practicing for little league, and her husband, Doug, was down the street at Mike Sanders', helping him with his sign painting business. It was early summer and warm and cozy in the house. Maybe she was more drowsy than she had thought. But she hadn't been asleep. She saw what she saw. A little girl had called her mommy and it seemed so natural. What beautiful child! Brenda got up and walked down the hall way, looking in each room as she passed. Where had she gone?
"Sweetheart, where are you?"
"Where could she have gone?" She was talking to herself now. "I know I heard her talk to me. I know I saw her. Where is she?" Suddenly it hit her. "My baby", she thought, "is a girl, a beautiful little girl!"
She had heard of people having experiences like this just before giving birth, but to think it had actually happened to her made her tingle all over. Could it be that Doug and she were actually going to have a baby girl, and that her child had just visited her to tell her..."Tell me what?", she thought. "She didn't finish what she started to tell me!" A wave of anxiety passed through her body, giving her a cold chill in the warm room, and standing her hair on edge. She picked up the blanket she had left on the bed and went back to the couch to cuddle up and see if she could make any since out of what had just happened.
If the little girl was indeed her baby, why had she made this premature visit? What was the reason? And why did she decide at the last moment to leave without delivering her message? But the other hand, it may have just been a dream. Brenda had not been feeling well lately and had been told that if she didn't slow down, she could go into labor too early. Their first baby had been premature and she didn't want to go through that again, so she had been trying to spend as much time off her feet as possible.
Maybe she did just doze off. With all that had been on her mind recently, maybe she just dreamed about the little girl she would someday like to have. No! It was too real. She had only closed her eyes for a minute when she had felt the child's presence and opened them to see her standing next to her. It was so vivid. So very, very real. She had spoken back to the girl as if is were an everyday occurrence.
Brenda laid back down with the blanket wrapped around her, but she couldn't close her eyes. Her mind kept going over and over her startling experience. It just had to be the baby she was carrying. There was no other explanation. But why had she left without finishing what she had come there to say?
"Brenda, are you OK?"
The sound of her husband’s voice and his soft touch woke her from her gentle sleep.
“Are you OK, Brenda?” he asked. As warm as it was in the house, Doug was concerned that Brenda had wrapped up in a blanket. He was afraid she might be catching something.
“Oh, I didn’t realize it was so late. Thanks for waking me.”
“You didn’t answer my question. You look so pale. It’s so hot in here, and you wrapped up in that quilt. Are you OK?”
“I’m fine. Help me up. I feel like this couch has been glued to my back.”
“It’s a good idea to take your nap here in the afternoon sun instead of in our bed room.” Doug commented, still trying to assess her mental and physical condition.
“I wanted to get out here where I could see this beautiful summer’s day. I guess the sun warmed me too much. I slept longer than I had intended.”, she explained.
It was starting to come back to her now. It must have been a dream. But she remembered going down the hall, looking for her visitor. She remembered the cold chill that had come over her, and she remembered picking up the blanket from the bed room. She remembered all too well. It wasn’t a dream!
“Honey?” She wanted to confide in him.
“Yes.”
“Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real you could have sworn it really wasn’t a dream at all?”
Trying to keep things in perspective, Doug attempted a little humor. “Being married to you is kind of like that.”
“No, I’m serious. I saw our baby. she came to me. She wanted to tell me something, but then changed her mind and left.”
“What are you talking about?”
Brenda knew she had his attention now and began to explain. “I saw our baby. She’s a beautiful little girl. She spoke to me. I spoke to her as if she were our child. Then she left. We’re going to have a baby girl. Our boys are going to have a little sister!”
Looking only slightly surprised, Doug got up from the couch and went over to the big picture window and stood quietly for a few seconds.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” Brenda asked. She was a little more than anxious to hear how he felt about her encounter with the other side of the veil.
“I suppose something like that could happen.” he pondered, feeling her anxiety, “but you know how badly we would like a little girl. Not that we don’t love our boys to pieces. I really don’t know what we’d do without them. But anyway, maybe your sub conscience is just trying to help you see what it would be like to have a little girl around the house.” he reasoned.
“I’ve considered that, and I suppose that could be one answer. But I know I wasn’t asleep when she came to me. She was real. It wasn’t just a dream!”
Doug could tell she was upset and that something had happened. Whether it was real or just a dream, wasn’t important. He knew he must try to calm her before they found out that evening whether their unborn child was a girl or boy. It really didn’t matter what it was. It would be nice if it could be a girl. But, girl or boy, the important thing was that the Lord had seen fit to send them another baby and they wanted to be sure it arrived safely.
Doug sat back down on the couch and beckoned his wife. She joined him and he carefully put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug and an affectionate kiss on the cheek. “I know something happened to you, Brenda, I can see it in your face. Why it happened, I don’t know,” he soothed. “We’ll just have to put our faith in God that He will do what’s best for our family. By the way, where is the rest of our little brood?”
“They’re at the park for Troy’s little league practice. I thought they’d be home by now. Why don’t you run over there and see how they’re doing, and I’ll start dinner?”
Sensing she had calmed, Doug headed for the ball field to retrieve his three most prized possessions in the world, his three boys. He and Brenda were so proud of their children.
As is the case in most families, everything Brenda and Doug did was for their offspring. And how excited they were to have another child on the way. They weren’t quite sure how they would act if it happened to be a girl. Pink had never been a part of the Allan household. But they were anxious to give it a try, if the Lord saw fit to let them. On the other hand, if blue was to be a continued tradition, that too would be wonderful. Doug never was one to play basketball, but if he had four boys, maybe they would let him be the fifth man on the team. The wait for the new arrival wouldn’t be long now. Soon Doug would know whether he would have a little cheerleader or another deer hunter. Whatever the case, he was extremely thankful and proud to have another child on the way.
It seemed like only yesterday the Allans thought they were not going to be able to have more than three children. When doctors heard of Brenda’s exposure to DES, a drug administered to expectant mothers in the fifties to help them carry their babies full term, they were surprised that any children had been born to the couple.
Brenda’s fourth pregnancy had been called a miracle by many. They had spent more than two years of wanting a fourth child and not having any success, and had about given up, when they had a tear filled talk with their LDS bishop.
The Allans were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, also know as the “Mormons”. They had a deep and living faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and through this faith, knew that with His help, anything was possible. They knew if God had another child that was meant to be part of their family, He could find a way to send that special spirit to their home.
Members of the Mormon Church have the opportunity to have God’s Priesthood in their home. With this authority to act in God’s name, special blessings can be given. Members of the church, as well as non-members, can have hands laid upon their heads and receive blessings of health and comfort. Through the faith of those offering the blessing and of the one receiving it, health can be restored and miracles can take place. A priesthood blessing was given to Brenda, in which she was told she would become pregnant and another of God’s children would enter their home. That was nine and a half months earlier, and in only two short weeks they would have their fourth child.
Brenda had developed a small growth in her pituitary gland over the past years, and it seemed to be growing. The doctors had advised them that because of this growth and the medication required to control it, another child after this one would not be a wise idea. Brenda’s health would be put in danger if she did not take the medication, and taking it during a pregnancy would endanger the unborn fetus. With prayerful consideration, the decision was made to have this child their last. They would have to be content with the four miracles they had already been given. It was very important that Brenda’s health be looked after, so that together Brenda and Doug could raise their children to adulthood.
So many thoughts had been flooding Doug’s mind lately that he was glad to spend a minute or two at the little league park and went there every chance he got to watch Troy, his oldest, play ball. The two younger boys, Michael and Eric, loved to go there too. They dreamed of the day they could play little league just like their big brother.
“Are you boys about ready to go home? Mom’s fixing dinner, and it’ll be ready soon.”
The boys were never anxious to leave the ball park and the younger ones begged their dad to pitch them a few balls before they left. Of course Dad didn’t argue. Even though Doug wasn’t much for playing basketball, he loved baseball and there was little else he would rather do than play with his three boys. Being with his family helped him forget some of the everyday problems of making a living and helped him remember the blessings he had been given.
“Thanks for pitching to us, Dad,”Michael said as they were on their way back to the house. “Let’s do it again soon, OK?”
“We will.Troy, did you say you have a game tomorrow afternoon?”
“Ya Dad. It starts at five, but I have to be there at four. Do you think you and Mom can come?”
“You bet! I’ll tell Mike I have to leave early tomorrow. We wouldn’t miss your game!”


The line was long and moving slowly to see Father, but little Loni had to talk with Him. She knew she had gone about asking in the wrong way when she had insisted she go to earth to talk with her mortal mother. Her emotions had been running high the last time she had visited with Father, but He had decided to let her go on her spur of the moment trip any way. Father often gave in on matters such as this, just to help teach His children important lessons. He knew that doing things all on His own would not teach Loni what she needed to know. Only her personal experience could be the teacher she needed at this crucial time.
Loni and her little sister, Whitney, had been scheduled to go to earth for their “long stay” for several decades now. However, there had been some complications arise, as they often do. Their exact departure dates were, as of yet, undetermined. Loni’s original date had been given to her brother, Kendal. She understood the reason, but that understanding didn’t make it any easier to wait. It would be a difficult job in logistics to send her off at just the right time to just the right birth mother to make sure she got where she was supposed to go. And to make matters worse, after she arrived in her home on earth, how could things be arranged so Whitney would be able to find her way there? But Father was good at that sort of thing. She knew she wouldn’t have to worry about anything except being ready when her call came.
Loni was so nervous sitting in the waiting room. It had been hard enough telling Whitney that she had failed to deliver her message. What would it be like to tell Father that all she had managed to do was make her earthly mother more confused. She had planned all along to tell Brenda to be patient and that things would work out for the best and that they would all be together someday soon. But all she could get out was “Never mind.”? No wonder Brenda was so confused that afternoon. Loni figured she’d really blown her chance. Father would never let her go back a second time before her long stay. She’d just have to admit her mistake and let Father see if he could straighten things out. He was good at that sort of thing. Straightening out His children’s blunders seemed to be His forte. He was always so kind and understanding. He never spoke a harsh word and always had time to chat during interviews. “I guess that’s why the line is so slow.” she thought as she sat patiently waiting for her turn.
“Loni-to-be-Allan, you’re next. Father will see you now.” came the voice of the receptionist over the P.A. system. “Please enter His office and be seated. He’ll be with you in a moment.”
By now, Loni was wishing Whitney was with her. She was always so calm and collected over everything. She had such an easy way about her. In many ways Loni wished that Whitney could have been the big sister or that they could have even been twins. Of course Whitney was glad to be the little sister. She always said that she looked up to Loni and that she had heard that little sisters have the most fun on earth. But all the wishing in the universe would not do any good. Their order had been given and Loni would go first. Anyway, it was Loni’s idea to go to earth for this pre-birth visit, not Whitney’s. And it was Loni that had choked under the pressure, not Whitney. So Loni would have to face Father alone.
She slowly got up from her chair in the waiting area and made her way to the huge oak door. She paused for just a moment to take a deep breath before taking hold of the hand carved latch that would open the door into Father’s office. As the door swung open, Loni walked in and went directly to the chair that so many of her brothers and sisters had sat in to have similar visits with Father. The painting on the wall above His desk caught her eye, just like it had the other times she had been there. It was a painting of her oldest spirit brother. Loni felt like He was actually looking at her. She could feel His love and compassion, His caring and understanding. And she knew that nothing she could do would ever change the way He felt about her and each and every one of her brothers and sisters. Father was like that too. He radiated love and kindness. Even though she was concerned about the way she had handled her visit to earth, she knew that Father would understand and somehow help her. Things would work out. Father would see to that. She felt calm and peaceful just from being in Father’s office and looking at Brother’s portrait.
“Loni, I’m glad to see you have returned from your little trip. I assume you’re here to report to me how things went.”
` Loni was startled. She hadn’t heard Him enter the room. But then, that wasn’t unusual. He always seemed to be there when you least expected it. She wondered if that’s how it would be on earth. His voice was soft and gentle, and Loni soon relaxed.
“Yes, Father, only I’m afraid I have not returned with good news.” Loni tried not to be too fidgety, but was having a hard time.
“Did you see your mortal mother?” Asked Father, His voice still calm and relaxed.
“Yes I did. And I talked to her! Well, for a moment I talked to her. But when she talked back to me and called me honey, I got so nervous I just said ‘never mind’ and went skipping down the hall of her house and caught the first shuttle back home. I’m so sorry, Father, I failed miserably, didn’t I?” Loni was near tears by now, but was fighting hard to hold them back. Her mind was filled with horrible thoughts of despair. How could Whitney and she ever find their way to the Allan home? They had both been so valiant and so excited in the prospects of their upcoming journey. How could this have happened? What could ever be done to change the course of events?
Her thoughts were interrupted by Father’s calm reply. “You say she saw you?”
“Yes.”
“And she heard you speak?”
“Yes, I called her Mommy.”
“And she answered you?”
“Yes sir, she said ‘What is it honey’?”
“And then you answered ‘Never mind’ and skipped out of the house?”
Not knowing what else to say, Loni answered, “That’s how it happened, Father. I’m sorry.”
A pleasant smile appeared on Father’s face as He comforted her. “No need to be sorry. Sounds to me like you were quite successful.”
Looking at Father with moist eyes, Loni said, “I don’t understand.”
“She saw you, she heard you, and she spoke to you. I’d say you accomplished what you set out to do very well.”
“I still don’t understand. I made her think that I was coming in two weeks. She’ll just think she dreamed the whole thing when it’s Kendal she gives birth to and not me. I didn’t tell her to be patient, and that Whitney and I would be there when things could be worked out.”
“You worry too much, my child.” Father got up from His giant plush chair and knelt down next to Loni with His arm around her shoulder. “Your mortal mother is very intelligent and wise. She’ll be able to figure out what has happened. She has also been given the gift of the Holy Ghost. He’ll be there to help her when she gets feeling down and confused. If you would have told her any more, she may have changed her mind about not becoming pregnant again, and you know that her body would not stand the strain of another pregnancy. Your journey to earth for your long stay would have ended in disaster, and Whitney would have never have the chance to go to the Allan home.
What Father was saying made sense. Loni realized now that all she and her sister could do was have faith that everything would work together for the good of their earthly family. Loni was already so lonely for them. It seemed like an eternity since Doug and Brenda had left Father’s presence. And then one by one, each of her brothers had left, until all that remained was Kendal, Loni and Whitney. Loni knew that if Kendal waited for his original turn, and she was to go before him as scheduled, Brenda and Doug would probably figure their family was complete after her birth. They would have no idea that another boy and another girl were waiting for them. On the other hand, if Kendal went first, Brenda would still take care of her health problems and later on would be able to feel the void of not having any daughters in the family. They would have to do something about it. They would have to find another way of bringing Loni and Whitney into their home. Father was right. Her visit, as short as it was, could be just enough of a spark to keep a bright flame of desire alive, the desire to bring their little lost girls into their home.
Feeling better now, Loni hugged Father and said, “Thank you for your help. I know things will work out. I guess I just get a little impatient sometimes.”
“Patience is one thing all of my children must learn sooner of later. Your earthly mother and father will have to learn it, and so will you and Whitney before this is over. Go back to your dwelling now, and it won’t be long until it will be time for Kendal to start his long stay. I’m so proud of you for the sacrifice you are making so that you can all be together. I know how hard it will be for you to wait, but Whitney will be there to help you. It will all be worth it. Have faith, and remember always that I am here for you and that I love you very much.”
The next two weeks went by so slowly. But the big day finely came when it was time for Kendal to leave his pre-earth life to begin a new life with a body and his brothers, whom he had missed for so long. He hated to leave his two sisters. He didn’t know when they would see each other again. But like them, he had to have the faith that everything would work out. He also knew that this trade of departure turns with Loni would be the only way in which they could all be together on earth, which would then make it possible for their family to be together forever. That’s what they had always planned, ant that’s what must happen.
Throwing their arms around each other, they said their good-byes, and Kendal’s life on earth began.


“I hope that this baby is serious this time. I was so embarrassed last week. I can’t believe I spent all day Sunday in that hospital bed.” Brenda said.
“The doctor said that sort of thing happens all the time. Besides, I quite enjoyed sitting next to you all day.” Doug consoled her. “That monitor they had attached to you was very interesting.”
“Ya, well, you weren’t the one having pains at regular intervals all day long, only to have them stop when the sun went down.” She retorted.
“You women don’t have any idea how much pain us expectant fathers go through.” He humored.
“One of these days I’ll feel sorry for you.” She came back. “Mean time, get my bags to the car!”
It had been planned that Troy, their oldest, would be in charge while Doug and Brenda were at the hospital, with the understanding that if it went into the evening, they were all to go to the neighbors for dinner and stay the night, if necessary. The doctor had promised Brenda that when she came to the hospital today, the baby would be born, even if they had to induce her labor.
“Troy, the doctor said we should have the baby by noon, at least. So we’ll give you a call as soon as we can, and let you know what’s happening. Take care of your brothers and if you need anything, call over to Mike’s.”
“OK, Dad, we’ll be all right.” He responded, “Just go and get that baby here.”
“Ya, we can’t wait much longer.” Added Michael with excitement mounting.
Eric was a little hesitant to see Mom go, but was willing to make the sacrifice if it meant he was going to be a big brother now.
The excitement level rose to a record high in the Allan house as Doug took Brenda by the arm and helped her to the car. As they drove out of the drive-way, the boys were all looking out the front window, waving good-bye.
“What a picture of love.” Doug thought, as he and Brenda waved back to their boys. “My three boys, slowly transforming themselves into young men. Standing there waiting for another of God’s children to enter their lives. Willing to share all they have with this little stranger. Anxious to renew an old acquaintance from a life, long forgotten.” A lump formed in his throat as he took hold of Brenda’s hand and said, “I love you, Brenda. I love our boys, and I love the child you are carrying. Thank you for being my wife and the mother of my children.”
“Thank you for letting me. I love you too. I’m so excited to think that by this time tomorrow our family will be six instead of five. I’m a little nervous though. You’ll be there to help me, won’t you?” She said anxiously.
“Of course I will. I’ll be by your side, holding your hand until our child is born, and for as long as they’ll let me afterward.” He answered affectionately.
“It means so much to have you there with me. You don’t know how much it helps. I’ve had my mind on the little girl I saw the other afternoon. I just don’t understand what it meant. I’m so scared.” Brenda added with a trembling voice. “But with you by my side, I know everything will work out for the best.”
It was eight A.M. when Doug and Brenda left for the hospital. By nine the doctor had started her labor and at 11:59 the Allans were blessed with another son.
“It’s a boy!”
“Are you sure, Doctor?” Brenda asked in between gasps.
“It’s got all the right parts. Yep, it’s a boy.”
“Did you hear that, Doug? We have another son! Isn’t it wonderful?” She was starting to relax now and her face was smile from ear to ear. “Is he all right? He’s all right isn’t he?”
“He’s the picture of health.” The doctor said, as he and the nurse cleaned little Kendal’s face.
“Doug, can you see him? Is he all right?”
“Calm down, honey. He’s beautiful. Nothing’s wrong with that kid.” The proud dad said.
When the doctor finished detaching Kendal from his life line to his mother, and the nurse had wrapped him in a clean white blanket, the child was placed across his mother’s tummy. “Here, look for yourself. You have a healthy baby boy. Congratulations!”
“Thank you Doctor, thank you so much.” Brenda said with tears of joy filling her eyes.
“Don’t thank me. Thank your husband. He had more to do with it than I.” This is why he had become a doctor, to be able to be of some small assistance in helping God complete His miracle of birth. To be able to see the expressions of love radiating from the faces of proud parents such as these, made his job the most rewarding on earth.
While Brenda was admiring her newest offspring, the doctor took Doug to one side and said in a low voice, “As soon as she is through making sure he’s all right, we’ll take your son into the nursery to clean him up. We’ll then take care of the other surgery on your wife. She’ll be groggy for a while afterwards, so if you want to go see your other children and grab you a bite of lunch, I’m sure Brenda won’t miss you for an hour or two. I don’t anticipate any problems, this is a routine procedure.”
“I think I’ll stick around the hospital until you’re through with the surgery. I’ll call the kids from here and eat lunch in the cafeteria. If you need me, I won’t be far away.” Doug’s voice had a hint of sadness in it. He knew this surgery must take place to insure Brenda’s health and well being, yet it was sad knowing that this was the last time he and Brenda would experience the miracle of birth together.
“Sounds good.” The doctor interrupted Doug’s thoughts. “We’ll keep you informed. Congratulations again on your new son.”
“Thank you.” Doug said as he turned to face his wife and new baby boy.
His thoughts returned to the surgery his wife was about to have. It seemed so final. They would have no more children. “Please Father,” Doug prayed silently. “Please give me the reassurance that we are doing the right thing. I know that we have already received an answer. I know that Brenda’s health must be protected, and that to do that, we must not have any more children. But I need to be reassured. I need to have Thy spirit rest upon my soul and tell me again of Thine approval.” At that moment a peaceful calm came over Doug’s troubled heart. He knew they were doing the right thing and that everything would be all right.
“Thank you.” Doug said again as he gently kissed Brenda on the cheek.


“Don’t look so down, Loni.”
“Oh, Grandma Ruby, I’m so frightened. I’m glad that Kendal made it to our home on earth, He’ll be so happy. But I’m afraid. How are Whitney and I going to get there? I know Mother had to have that surgery, but things have become so complicated. What are we going to do?”
Tears were streaming down Loni’s cheeks. She knew this would be a difficult day, but she hadn’t planned on it being quite this tough. To make matters worse, Whitney had been crying all morning. Loni hated to see her sister cry, but she understood how much Whitney loved Kendal, and she knew that it would be even longer for her before she could see her brothers again.
Whitney had come to Loni for comfort and advice, but Loni was at a loss for words, which was unusual for her. So she had come to Grandma Ruby. If any one could help, it would be Grandma Ruby.
Ruby was Doug’s earthly mother and would be Loni’s earthly grandmother. She had returned from her long stay on earth two and a half years earlier. After her reunion with her husband, Jesse, and what a happy reunion it was, she had been assigned to look after Kendal and the two sisters, Loni and Whitney. She was to see that they were progressing properly, make sure they attended their interviews with Father, and help them get ready for their journey to earth for their long stay. She enjoyed spending so much time with her three earthly grandchildren, and always had timely advice for them. This was one time when Loni needed her grandmother more than ever.
Loni’s little spirit was quivering as she sat next to her grandmother. As she put a tender arm around Loni’s tiny shoulders, Ruby would do her best to comfort her beautiful grandchild.
“Dear,” Ruby said, “let me tell you a story. When your mortal grandfather and I were on earth together, we loved each other just as Douglas and Brenda do. We had a beautiful little family and life was good to us. We were very much like Douglas and Brenda. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we were happy. Then something happened that wasn’t in the plans. You have to understand that you can’t plan on everything happening exactly the way you would like it to while you’re on your long stay. Sometimes you have to adjust your life to fit the unexpected. That’s what the long stay is all about though, learning to live by faith and using that faith to help you hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. In turn he will help you adjust to meet any emergency. We had to learn to listen to the spirit, so he could help us adjust.
Jesse’s sister, Rheuama, wrote a little about that time in our lives. Maybe I could read you a bit of what she had to say about it all.”
“I would like that.” Loni said, as she was relaxing a little more now. She loved Grandma Ruby to read to her, it always seemed to help her fears and worries go away, at least for a little while.
So Ruby started to read from Aunt Rheuama Allan West’s journal.
“My brother Jess is really something! His smiling eyes radiate years of full living. His life has been a constant flow of tragic eruptions, but each has been calmed with one of God’s miracles. Jess has the kind of faith that moves mountains, and that is exactly what he does. Many Mt. Everest’s of despair, grief, discouragement, and self pity have been blasted out of his way by his great faith in God.
Jess always reminded me of a beautiful buck deer running wild and free in the forest. It was exhilarating to share his love of life. His youth was jammed with the outdoors. He was an avid hunter, sportsman, and athlete, filled with a strong will to conquer. There wasn’t much he couldn’t do. He still holds that title from his lowly wheelchair.”
“You know,” Ruby interjected, “A lot of people think a wheel chair to be what Rheuama called ‘lowly’, but my Jesse didn’t consider it that way. I think that after a while, it became his throne, a place where he lived and worked. True he couldn’t walk and get around with out it as most men could, but he made it his tool which he used as any other tool. He used it to bless other people’s lives, he used it to make a life out of one that was nearly ended.”
She continued reading. “He was married as a kid of seventeen to Ruby. How well Ruby was named. She was soon to become his priceless gem throughout his life. The years brought the depression and job hunting. Jess and his little brood moved to Redding, California to accept the job of a carpenter. Then a better job lured him on to Big Bend where he worked for a power company. Big Bend matched his adventurous spirit with its lofty mountains and scented pine trees. It was perfect country for hunting and fishing, and so beautiful. Jess made good wages, he was happy and on top of the world. Then it happened! How could such a gorgeous summer day among the pines turn into such a distorted nightmare? That July day in 1943 found him at work lifting a big bar while putting steel in a tunnel. Something popped in his back, he couldn’t straighten up! ‘Just a catch in my back’ he moaned, as he slumped to the ground. His fellow workers rushed him to a doctor in Redding. He was immediately hospitalized, his back taped, and bed rest prescribed. ‘I’ll be back to work in no time’, he thought, never realizing this was to be a crucial changing point in his life. The next day his legs were lifeless. His ten days of futile bed rest turned into a jumbled nightmare. Except for his neck and head, he became completely paralyzed. Ecclesiastes III mocked at him. ‘To everything there is a season, a time to think, a time to reason. A time to be born, and a time to die.’ Surely the Lord would bring life back into his motionless body, surely he would run, and hunt, and fish again. Besides that, he had so much going for him. And then came darkness, Jess lapsed into a coma.
An ambulance with its flashing lights and shrill siren sped its way to San Francisco Hospital 400 miles away. My brother was having a race with death. Doctors and specialists surrounded him upon his arrival. They were bustling and whispering and doing. Long hours of back surgery, pain and delirium smothered him. No diagnosis, just experiments. What was wrong? Could it be polio? No one knew, and it was evident that he would die. The doctors proclaimed that his days were numbered. Who would dare to announce death except the ‘One Great Physician”?
Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Ruby summoned two elders to administer to him. They called upon the ‘Great Healer’ in prayer, and promised Jess in the Lord’s name that he would not die. He would live to raise his family and fulfill a mission of teaching others about Jesus Christ. What a promise to a dying man!’
Again Grandma Ruby stopped her reading. She looked straight ahead and then turned to her precious Loni and said, “You can’t imagine what was going through my head. I wanted to have enough faith to believe that my sweet heart would recover and be permitted to stay on earth with me and our little family. But to see him there in that bed, lifeless and unable to talk to me was extremely difficult. The doctors had only given him 3 months at most to live. Oh, how I needed the help of the Holy Ghost, I needed Him to give me faith, faith in what had been promised by these two elders of the Lord’s church. Jesse had to live! For all practical purposes, our children had been left without their father. I started to pray, I have never prayed so hard as I did that evening. I wouldn’t accept what the doctors had said, I couldn’t accept it. The spirit came to me through the still small voice. It told me and assured me that Jesse and I were not through bringing our family to earth. I couldn’t let my husband leave us, I had to do all that I could to help that blessing he had received be fulfilled. With that determination, and with all the faith I could muster, things started to change.”
With a shaky, but strong voice, she continued to read.
‘Ruby kept vigil by his bedside while good neighbors cared for their children. The endless hours turned into days, the days lapsed into weeks as Jess lay unconscious. Then traumatically, his eyes opened and he smiled. His only recollection of anything since he arrived at the hospital was the blessing he had received. His words were weak, but distinct. ‘I will live. I will get out of this bed and I will do God’s bidding!’ Three months he lay there motionless. His only consolation was his faith in God and eyes that could see beyond the four white walls that bound him. Many doctors were called for consultation, each shaking his puzzled head.
The insurance company sent their company doctor to diagnose Jesse’s case. He pronounced it polio, thus leaving the good Samaritan to pay the price, physically and mentally.
Jess was requested to be moved to a charity county hospital. Ruby said, ‘No.’ She took Jess home to care for him along with her four little ones. Long days and nights followed, and so did despair. Satan was crafty with his sword of discouragement and he fought well. Jess cried out in anguish, ‘Where are you God? Come closer.’ No money, no job, no life in his body. Human speech could not convey his hopelessness as he stared silently at the ceiling. It was Autumn time, his time of the year. Would he ever hunt and fish again? ‘Please God’, he sobbed, ‘Help me.’
Then music jolted him out of his futility. Ruby’s beautiful contralto voice came wafting from the kitchen, singing his favorite hymn, ‘Count Your Many Blessings’.
‘When upon life’s billows you are tempest tost.
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost.
Count your many blessings, name them one by one
and you will be singing when the day is done
Count your blessings name them one by one,
Count your blessings see what God has done
Count your blessings, name them one by one.
Count your many blessings, see what God has done.’
God started him counting. His blessings were many, and he knew it. He had God who had always helped him jump the hurdles of life. He had membership in a church that taught him the purpose of life. He held God’s priesthood. He had his family and Ruby. He had life! He could see, hear, talk, think and pray. God gave him new determination to move that mountain of discouragement and Ruby helped him.
She worked day and night on him, giving him constant physical and mental therapy. Then came the miracle! Jess found he could slowly move his arms, his shoulders, and his chest all by himself! He soon traded the bed for a wheelchair, then crutches. He found himself doing the impossible! Many times he fell on his face, and on his back, but when you move mountains, you don’t just lie there. Slight feeling came into his back and his legs, along with excruciating agony. Jess didn’t give up--never! He learned to live with the pain, the perspiration, and the bumps. To strengthen his shriveled leg muscles he would push his wheelchair to support him, and force their activity. He couldn’t go far, but he could go. God had heard his prayer for survival.
Then came a second blow. The lease on their home ended and so did their only means of security. Where does one go with no job, no money and six mouths to feed, and how? ‘Tell me God, what to do now.’
Then another miracle! All of the family piled into their old Ford to start house hunting. They had to start somewhere. While waiting for Ruby to investigate a place, a total stranger walked up to their car. His eyes leveled with Jess’s. ‘You need a place to live don’t you?’ he asked. ‘I have a little house on two acres that needs fixing up, and it is yours if you can make it livable. Fixing it will pay for its rent and sometime you can buy it by helping me fix mine.’ Jess wondered if he was dreaming.
When he looked at the house, he questioned it for only a moment. It had two rooms, no bath, no paint and a leaky roof, but it had possibilities. He knew his carpentry, and knew what had to be done. Another question. How do you build onto a house in a wheelchair and no money? ‘Show me God.’
The compassionate owner of a nearby lumber mill gave him lumber, and Jess went to work. Ruby and the children cleaned the two rooms and moved in their meager belongings. They helped Jess measure, carried lumber to him, and ‘Courage in Shining Armor’ began his wheelchair sawing. They would add two small bedrooms and a bath. The lumber was sawed and stacked in neat piles, for floors, ceiling, studs, and rafters. When all was completed, little Dean asked, ‘Now Dad, how are you going to get up there?’
‘A time to build, a time to break, a time to fill, and a time to take.’
Then came the dawn that follows each dark night. His Redding friends had heard of his plight. Carpenters, lumberjacks, doctors, lawyers, and bankers, many who had never driven a nail, came. Like a hive of bees, everyone worked and another miracle proceeded a mountain. The house was built, painted, shingled, and then occupied.
After that, things happened fast. A garden soon blossomed with flowers, vegetables, strawberries, and fruit trees. The planted lawn turned green. A therapy swimming pool was prescribed, dug, and used. A neighbors cow was pastured in return for milk. A discarded incubator turned eggs into chickens, ducks, and geese. Jess was feeding his family from his own backyard. The little garage at the rear of the house was turned into a fix-it shop. Jess whistled while working on small motors, building furniture and cabinets from his wheelchair. His two-acre kingdom became his Garden of Eden. He was once more becoming self-sufficient.
Jess did defy death! He had a great mission left to accomplish. He lived to help others, to pay his bills, to raise his family, and to do a great work for God. A wheelchair did not inhibit him, nor rob him of a full beautiful life. He learned that two people can do anything if one of them is the Lord. Another mountain moved! ‘A time to smile, a time to grin, a time to while, and a time to win.’
Ruby closed Rheuama’s journal and taking Loni’s small hand in her own continued her story. “A time to win. It’s hard to win if you don’t have any competition. The ‘long stay’ is full of competition. It seems like you just get through beating off one problem and another appears. Not long after our problems with Jesse, our youngest child, De Estie Ann, was taken back to Father, where He had a very special work for her to do. You know what an inspiration she has been to so many of our spirit brothers and sisters. Anyway, we were saddened by her early return to Father and wondered why. Somehow we were comforted again by the Holy Ghost, and less than 6 years later, Douglas came into our lives. He was the reason Jesse had been permitted to stay on earth. Douglas had two purposes in coming so far behind the other children. First, he was to help us in our old age. Our lives had not been easy and would not get easier. Jesse still used his crutches and wheelchair to get around, and when Douglas was fourteen years old, I had an accident which put me in a wheelchair as well. The tables had now turned. It was Jesse’s turn to help me. It was his turn to sing ‘Count your many Blessings’. It was his turn to exercise my legs and find ways to help me recover. Dean, Margie and Glen were young when Jesse was first hurt, and now it was Douglas’ turn to be at home all of the time to try to help out the best he could. Dean and Margie and Glen and their families were very good to come and help when ever possible, but they had lives of their own and couldn’t be there all of the time, so it was up to Douglas to be our legs, and without legs, life is difficult at it’s best. My legs were so lifeless and heavy. We had hoists help me in the bathroom and in and out of bed. We had sliding boards to help me from my chair to the car seat and other places where the hoists were not. Jesse would push from his chair and Douglas would pull from the other side. Between the three of us, we managed. Jesse remodeled the house to make everything lower so I could reach cupboards and shelves from my chair. Ramps were built over the steps and stairs, and an exercise machine was engineered with weights made from the old, used, lead wheel weights that we collected from local tire businesses. They were melted down in an old cast iron pan on the stove in our kitchen, and then poured into an old aluminum sauce pan and allowed to cool to form 6 to 7 inch diameter by 1 to 2 inch thick lead weights, which were placed on a home made apparatus with ropes and pulleys to exercise my upper body. One time as the hot liquid lead was poured into the sauce pan, some water had been left in the bottom of the pan and gone unnoticed. There was a huge explosion. Hot lead splashed all over the ceiling and floor. How Jesse and Douglas managed to dodge the molten lead bullets is beyond me. I’m grateful we were all protected during those difficult years. There were lots of times when things could have turned out much worse than they did.
Even as important as Douglas was to Jesse and me during his teen-age years, the most important reason he was sent to our home so far behind the other children was so he and Brenda could be on earth at the same time and in the same general area, so they could find each other and raise their family. You’re a very important part of that family, Loni. I want you to know that. You will go to that family. Father has a plan that will work. Your earthly parents are becoming more and more sensitive to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost, and your little visit will also play an important role in your journey to earth. I will see to it that they know when they have found you. Have patience, and it won’t be long until you’ll be on your way, and Whitney will not be far behind you.
I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter what the problem you may encounter, it can be solved if you put your trust in Father and use the gift of the Holy Ghost to be your guide. Then you must also do all in your power to personally solve the problem. It’s been said that you must pray as if everything depended on our Father in Heaven and then work as if everything depended on us. Our earthly problems were solved in this way and yours can be also.
Loni’s tears had stopped during her grandmother’s story, but were flowing freely once again. But this time they were tears of joy and happiness. She knew that her grandmother was speaking the truth, and that her earthly mother and father would soon begin their search for their two little girls.

Thoughts of the strange visit Brenda had earlier were put on the back burner during the next few years. The Allan family was kept busy with their new little boy. Kendal was a good baby, but even good babies can keep Mom and Dad jumping. Troy, Michael and Eric were so excited with their little brother, and everything he did was absolutely wonderful. Brenda and Doug had found that with the birth of each child, their love for each other and the other children grew more than they had ever imagined it could. They loved each boy so very much. It was no different with Kendal.
Right after Kendal’s birth and Troy’s final little league game of the season, The Allans moved to Brenda’s home town to be closer to her mom and dad and give their children the opportunity to get to know their grandparents better. Doug was hired at the local high school to continue his career as a music teacher. Aside from the financial strain the move had created, the little family had never been happier.
Despite all their happiness, something was weighing heavy on both Brenda’s and Doug’s minds. The boys were feeling it too. Things just didn’t seem right.
One night when Kendal was about three years old and they had just finished family prayer, something happened to help clear things up just a little.
“Dad, do you feel like someone is missing?” Troy was kneeling there as he spoke, with a puzzled look on his face.
“I’m glad you said something. I thought I was the only one who was feeling that way.” Doug responded. He had had that feeling for some time. It was especially strong when the family was kneeling together for prayer each evening.
Brenda looked at her beautiful family and with a slightly shaky voice, said, “I’ve had the same feeling for some time now too. But I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.”
It had been three years since the birth of their last child. Could it be they were just having normal yearnings for another baby, like they had experienced every three or four years since they had been married? Maybe the fact that Brenda couldn’t have any more children was making them feel guilty and creating an imaginary void in their lives. But no! The entire family was feeling it. Brenda’s surgery after Kendal’s birth had not been discussed with the boys. All they knew was that they could not have any more babies in their house. They had seemed to accept it and not much had been said on the subject. But now it was out in the open. Every one of the boys told of how they had the same feeling. Especially during family prayers. Was it just a coincidence or was there really something to it? They decided that over the next few days they would pray about it and see if they could figure out what these strange feelings meant.
Later on that evening as Brenda and Doug were getting ready for bed, Doug noticed a far away look in Brenda’s eyes.
“Honey, what’s on your mind? You look like you’re in another would.”
“I can’t stop thinking about our little girl.” was her reply.
“Our little girl?” Doug sounded more surprised than he actually was.
“It sounds crazy.” Brenda explained, “but I can’t stop thinking about that little girl I saw just before Kendal was born. It’s been three years, but I can still hear her voice calling me mommy. There’s a little spirit in heaven that we need to bring into our home. Our little girl is waiting.”
Let’s kneel down and ask our Father in Heaven to help us with this. If there is a little girl that needs to come into our lives, we’ll need His help to get her here.” Doug counseled.
Doug and Brenda talked to their Father in Heaven in a special prayer that night. First, they gave thanks for the children they already had been blessed with and thanked Him for His help in the past in raising them. They knew they had been blessed with four healthy boys. They were good boys, too. They never caused a bit of trouble, and their testimonies of the gospel were growing day by day. What more could parents ask? They also knew that not everyone was as blessed as they. There are many couples who have no children, and can never have any. They wanted their Father in Heaven to know they were not being greedy, but had a very strong feeling their family was not yet complete. They asked God to confirm their feelings and to let them know what they should do about them. As they poured out their hearts to their Father, the feelings they had been experiencing only became stronger. They knew that the hope that God was giving them, the hope of finding the little lost member of their family, would have to be guarded by faith, the faith to work towards the day when their child, their little girl, would be with them.
The next few months were spent checking into every available adoption agency. Much literature had been sent to them and after prayerful consideration and study of every option, Brenda and Doug decided to go to the nearest LDS social service office to start their search.
Their visit with Brother Parks went as well as could be expected. He informed them that their chances were very good to adopt, if they put in for a special needs child. After a few hours of interviews and discussion, their paper work was begun and the Allans started for home. They needed five hundred dollars for a down payment, which for them, was a substantial amount. They were concerned about the money, but knew they would some how come up with it.
The ride home was quiet for the first few miles and then Brenda broke the silence. “Honey, are you sure our little girl should be a special needs child? The little girl I saw looked healthy and strong. There are just so many things to consider. How will we know when the right child has been selected for us?”
“All we can do is continue to exercise our faith in what the spirit has told us. Somehow we need to get the money and make sure our names are on the active list for adoption. The rest will be up to the Lord. When we are ready and when our little girl is here on earth and ready for us, Heavenly Father will see to it that we are brought together. I only pray that when she is born, she doesn’t have to wait very long before she is allowed to come to us. That’s what I worry about the most. Not that we wouldn’t love an older child just as much as an infant, but the possibilities of her not being taken care of properly during the first few years of her life are great. I can’t stand to think of our little girl being mistreated while she’s waiting to come to us.” Doug said.
“I guess that’s why I want an infant so badly.” Brenda said, as she stared across the greening fields of grain and alfalfa. “I want to hold her and love her as she grows and learns to love us as her parents.”
“If that’s what the Lord wants, that’s what will happen.” Doug said with a voice of confidence.
“I know. I just wish we knew where she was.”
Their optimism was high during the rest of the ride home. They felt good about what was happening in their lives and knew God would help them accomplish what they had set out to do.
Life went on as usual during the next few months. Spring turned into summer and then the leaves turned their autumn colors. Soon the leaves were gone and it was winter once again. With the coming of winter also came the final preparations for getting their names put on the active list at the church adoption agency. Final interviews were made. The home study was completed. Family pictures were taken and biographical sketches were compiled on both Doug and Brenda. Hours had been spent filling out forms and traveling to various locations for interviews. The five hundred dollars had even been paid, thanks to the sell of Doug’s parents’ house. His mom and dad had passed away four years earlier, and Doug and his brothers and sister had been trying to close the sell on the house for months. It finally happened just days before the money had to be in for the adoption. Everything seemed to be working well, with the exception of the lack of encouragement by their new case worker. He was just trying to be realistic when he would tell Brenda and Doug their chances of being able to adopt a little girl were very slim. There were many couples on the list ahead of them who had no children and had been waiting unsuccessfully for months, even years, for their adoption to come through. Doug was thirty-eight and in order to adopt, the parents should not be more than forty years older than the adopted child, the case worker pointed out. Time was running out. The Allans were told it would be a miracle to find a child for them. They were also told that miracles still happen, and if they thought God had one in store for them, to go ahead and pursue it. Brenda and Doug had no doubts as to what they should do and so their files were activated and the agonizing wait began.
Then one day the Allans received a phone call from Brother Tripp, their case worker. He was so excited. There was a lady who was going to give birth within the next few days. She was divorced civilly, but had not had her temple marriage nullified.Her child would be born with the sealing power of it’s parent’s temple marriage still in tact.. The baby would be sealed to her and her ex-husband. Members of the LDS church believe that until a temple marriage is dissolved by the proper authority, that marriage and all children from that marriage are still one family. The mother wanted to adopt out her baby, but who ever adopted it would not be able to have it sealed to them until the birth parents had taken the proper steps to have their temple marriage dissolved. This may happen and then again it might not. Therefore, the baby would fall under the special needs category. The birth mother had picked Brenda and Doug to be the adoptive parents, if they would accept, and if the baby was a girl. The excitement mounted in the Allan household. They were apprehensive about the fact that they wouldn’t be able to go to the temple with her, but things would work out. The fact that their little girl might be on her way to their home made all pessimism disappear.
Two days passed by, then three. Finally more than a week had gone by since Brother Tripp’s phone call. Had the baby been born and something was wrong? Or maybe it was a boy and no one had bothered calling. The waiting was unbearable. At last the call they had been awaiting came. The baby had been born and it was a girl! But wait. “What’s that, Brother Tripp?” Brenda asked.
“The mother changed her mind. She wants to keep her child.” He said.
There was a moment of silence. What could Brenda say? How could she be upset at a mother for wanting to keep the child she had carried for nine months? Brenda felt a deep disappointment, but she could not feel anger. All she could think was that this was not her little girl. If it were, things would have fallen into place. They would have to be patient and keep waiting.
So the roller coaster ride had taken a dip, but they knew there would be more crests. The ride was not over yet. One day their prayers would be answered.
Kendal was now six years old. The years were passing by quickly. The past two years had brought only a few more hopeful phone calls, each one having a variation of the first and ending with similar results. Their little girl still had not been found.
Their files were now eligible to be sent nation wide. They would need to up-date them with new pictures and a letter to the birth-mother. The letter introduced the adoptive couple or family to the birth-mother so as to help her in deciding who her baby should be placed with. Not all birth-mothers want this choice, but some do, and this is a good way to assist them. No mention could be made of names or places. Only general characteristics and family likes and hobbies, along with reasons for wanting to adopt can be included.
Brother Tripp visited the Allan home to explain the reasons for the up-date and what would be happening to their files in the future, and to make sure Brenda and Doug were still anxious about adopting. It was hard to be encouraged after three and a half years of ups and downs on the adoptive trail, but their minds had been made up long ago. They would not give up easily.
They thought about one trip they had made to have an interview some three years earlier, when on their way home, they had been discussing how difficult the next few years might be. As they followed a beautiful river down a narrow canyon, a few hundred feet down the windy road, they saw a pure white bird glide down to the road side from the trees that lined the river banks. It seemed so graceful. And as they passed by, they slowed down to get a better look. It was a white dove, the symbol of peace and contentment. They looked at each other and smiled. They knew what it meant. They had a strong feeling of peace settle over them. The spirit told them they were doing the right thing and to be patient, and all things would work together for the best.
During the next couple of weeks, Brenda and Doug did a lot of individual thinking about the letter they had to write. They were slow to sit down and get it done. Some how they knew how important this letter would be, and they didn’t want to say the wrong things. Then about two weeks after Brother Tripp had visited them, they sat down together on a Sunday afternoon and started to write to the birth-mother of their child. The words flowed freely. It was as if they knew exactly what to write. They told about each of their boys and about the music that had always filled their house. They told about baseball, about their testimonies of the gospel, and finally about a special spiritual experience they had by which they knew their family was not complete. They expressed their understanding for the trials the birth-mother must be going through and told of their gratitude for all those involved in helping them find their daughter.
The up-dated pictures and letter were mailed to Brother Tripp, and again the wait began.

It was early on a Saturday morning. Doug was used to waking up at six to get ready for school, so he wasn’t surprised when he looked at the clock and it said 6:05. Saturday was his and Brenda’s day to sleep in, so he quietly turned to his back so as not to awaken his wife. Moments such as these were often spent with thoughts about home and school projects, or just dreaming about his personal goals and goals his family may be pursuing. His eyes shut momentarily. As he was starting to doze off a little, he quickly reopened them when he heard his name being whispered by a soft gentle voice. “Douglas” was all that he heard. He knew that voice, even though it was just a whisper. He raised up to one elbow and looked around the mostly dark room. His mother had just spoken to him. He wanted to answer her, but was afraid of disturbing Brenda. He must have been dreaming. He laid back down. His eyes were wide open now. That had to be the answer, just a dream. But it had sounded like she had been right there in the room.
The next hour passed by slowly. Doug tried to go back to sleep, without success. He kept trying to convince himself that what he had heard was just a dream. But he couldn’t. It bothered him. Why had his mother whispered his name?
At the breakfast table, Doug related his experience to Brenda, telling her it was probably just a dream. But not really convincing her or himself.
Happenings such as this are difficult to explain. They make a person feel very uneasy, wondering what the purpose was, if any. At any rate, during the next few days the experience was at the surface of both Brenda’s and Doug’s thoughts. They were on guard for any unusual developments. But nothing happened and by mid-week things had pretty much returned to normal. Brenda had about decided that Doug’s mom had not returned to take her son beyond the veil. And Doug had all but given the incident up to his imagination. The thought never entered either of their minds to connect this recent event with the experience Brenda had had more than six years earlier. If they had, maybe they would have realized what was about to take place in their lives.

It was a Tuesday in late January and the excitement in the air was beyond anything Loni had ever experienced. She was surrounded by her closest friends and relatives, with her best friend and little sister, Whitney by her side. Her grandma Ruby’s hand felt calm and relaxed, yet firm and strong as she held on to her own trembling and moist hand. Loni was glad she had her Grandmother and her little sister to help her as she waited for the moment her mortal body would be ready for her spirit. Her earth life was about to begin, and she had never been so nervous.Whitney was so quiet and still as Loni fired one question after another at her Grandmother.
“How will I get to my home once I’m on earth? How will Mom and Dad know it’s me? How will my birth-mother know where to send me? What if things don’t go as planned?” The questions flowed out of Loni like water from a cool mountain spring.
“Loni, stop worrying, Your mother and father will know you. The pump has been primed and their love will start flowing freely from the moment they find out you have been born. Douglas will know why I whispered his name three days ago, and when they find out you were born on my birthday, they will know without a doubt that you are their baby.”
“I guess I’m just worried that because I’ll look different than they do, they might not recognize me. I know we’re all the same in Father’s eyes, no matter what physical characteristics we may have been given on earth. But I guess I’m concerned that they may have forgotten that. So many people on earth have prejudices because of skin color, or family background, or so many different reasons. I just hope Mom and Dad haven’t developed any of them.”
Whitney was clinging even tighter to Loni’s other hand. Ruby could tell that both of her little grand daughters were emotionally drained. Searching her mind for a way to calm them, Ruby said, “Not long ago your earthly parents attended a seminar in which that very subject was discussed. They learned the importance of being open minded when it came to those sensitive areas. They heard stories about other people who had adopted biracial children. They heard of their joys and even their trials. They came away from that work-shop with a renewed determination to find you. They know that you might not be the same color as they are, but they have a strong conviction that it makes no difference what we look like on this earth. It’s what we were before, and what we will be after that really counts. They will recognize you, no matter what you look like. They will recognize your spirit. But let me assure you, you will be a beautiful, wholesome woman. Don’t ever forget to talk to your Father through prayer. He loves you and will always be there for you. Sometimes you will need to exercise patience, but your prayers will always be answered. Your mother, father, and brothers on earth will be so excited to have you come into their home. They’ll love you and cherish you forever. And the day you go to the temple to be sealed to your mother and father will be one of the most wonderful of your life. You won’t be able to remember it as you grow older, but your parents will tell you about it. And through the knowledge that you are sealed to your earthly family for all eternity, you will gain true joy and happiness.”
Tears were now flowing freely as everyone gathered around to say good-bye to Loni. It was time for her to leave. Her embraces with loved ones who had already had their earthly experience, and with those who were to follow later as her children and family were heart felt and sincere. Little Whitney held on the longest. “Please don’t forget about me.” She said, as she broke her long silence. “I don’t want to be forgotten. Make sure Mommy and Daddy remember to find me too.”
“Don’t you worry, Whitney. You stay close to Grandma Ruby and she will help you and encourage you just like she has me. We’ll be together again soon. I love you, Whitney. I love you too Grandma Ruby.”
And then she was gone. Her long stay had begun. Her journey to earth was no longer something to be awaited. It had arrived.


It was 10:10 P.M. and Brenda and Doug had been in bed for about fifteen minutes. They were unusually tired tonight. Brenda had been shopping with her mom most of the day. She had caught herself thinking a lot about the adoption, and found herself almost in a trance, looking at little girl clothes in the local department store. She had mentioned to her mom that day that she still knew there was a baby out there somewhere for her and Doug. It seemed like it had been so long since those first interviews. The time had passed quickly in many ways, but in others it had been an eternity. Brenda tried not to talk to anyone at length about their adoptions plans. She felt like the less she talked about it, the easier it would be to go on from day to day without any positive word as to where their baby girl could be. But today, Brenda felt like she had to share her thoughts with someone. Her mom was a willing, listening ear, and the baby clothes in the department store were all the excuse Brenda needed to share what was on her mind.
She returned home late that afternoon, prepared dinner for her family, and then rushed off to the church to conduct the monthly pack meeting for the ward’s cub scouts. She had been cub master for as long as she could remember, in every community they had ever lived. She loved to be involved with her boys in cub scouts, and it seemed there had always been a cub scout around the house. If they ever did get a little girl, it would really take a lot of adjusting to get used to the changes that would take place in their home.
After pack meeting, Brenda was exhausted, and the bed was salvation from a hard day. “Doug must be tired too. It sounds like he’s already asleep.” She thought, as all of the day’s activities were still flooding through her mind. Suddenly the rhythm of Doug’s breathing was broken by the ring of the telephone. The phone was across the room, and when it rang after Doug and Brenda were in bed, someone had to get up to answer it. Brenda touched her husband’s arm and said, “You want to get it or should I?”
“I’ll get it.” Doug said, with sleep still in his voice. “Who could be calling at this hour?”
Doug didn’t sound happy. He really didn’t enjoy being roused out of bed by the phone after he had already fallen asleep. He pulled himself out from under the warm covers, and fumbled in the dark until he found the light switch. Then he picked up the phone and said hello in as pleasant of a voice as he could find, for someone who would have rather still been asleep.
“Hello, Brother Allan? This is Brother Tripp. I hope I’m not calling too late.”
Trying not to sound like he was still asleep, Doug managed to continue the conversation. “No, no problem, we just now got into bed.”
“Brother Allan, do you and Brenda still want a little girl?”
“Well, yes. Of course we do!”
In between his side of the conversation, Doug tried to mouth to Brenda who he was talking to, without much success.
“Well, I received a call just a few minutes ago about a girl that is available to you, if you think you’d like her.”
“How old is she?” Doug asked, trying not to sound outwardly as nervous as he was feeling on the inside.
By now Brenda had figured out who it was and was sitting up in bed.
“She’s two days old. The birth-mother has picked you and Brenda as the adoptive parents, if you will accept.”
“When would we be able to pick her up, and what other details do we need to know?”
Brother Tripp explained that the baby was biracial, that she was a healthy, beautiful child, and that they should leave the next morning, as early as possible to get her. He gave the details of location, and said that the case worker from the city where the baby was would call them first thing in the morning with the rest of the details.
“Let me have you talk to Brenda so she can get all the information too. I’m afraid I’ll leave something out if I try to tell her everything.”
As Brenda took the phone, she began to shake. She was so excited and nervous, all in one. Brother Tripp told her exactly what he had told Doug. Only Brenda had a lot more questions.
“Are you sure that when we get there, the baby will be ours? Will we be able to bring her home?”
“The papers have been signed. I have contacted you by phone. The baby is yours, if you want her. I just want to tell you that I have a firm conviction that a miracle has taken place here. The case worker that called me told me how you two were picked. I won’t tell you the whole story, I want her to do that. But I’ll tell you a little. Your file was not given to the birth-mother at first. There were several others pulled for various reasons. The birth-mother did not feel comfortable with any of those couples, and more files were brought in, with the same results. So a third time the case worker went back to her office to see what she could find. There on her desk was a copy of your letter from your updated files. It had not been there before. She had no idea who had placed it on her desk. She read it, and was deeply impressed that she should pull your files, even though you did not fit any of the criteria the birth-mother had specified. She took the letter and your files over to the hospital. After reviewing them, the birth-mother calmly told her you were the couple to adopt her baby. Not many reasons were given, besides you were the ones. I feel like you’re the right choice also. But it’s your decision as to whether you want her or not.”
“Of course we want her.” Brenda was near tears now, she was so happy. Still shaking, the conversation was brought to a close, and she hung up the phone.
Looking at each other with smiles a mile wide, Brenda and Doug shared a spontaneous embrace. “Could this really be happening?” Brenda asked as they separated. “Or is it just a dream? Have we finally found our little girl?”
“Seems real to me. How do you feel? Is she our baby?”
“I love her already.” Brenda’s eyes were sparkling through her tears as she spoke. “We’ve only known about her for five minutes, and I love her already. She is ours, I know she is.”
“I feel the same way, Brenda. You don’t suppose she was born yesterday?” Doug asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Why?”
Trying to sort things out in his mind, Doug answered, “Yesterday was Mom’s birthday. You don’t think that......You know it’s pretty strange; I hear Mom’s voice for no apparent reason, and then the baby we’re going to adopt is born on her birthday.“
“And just how did our letter get on that case worker’s desk after hours when no one else was in the office?” Brenda interjected.
“It seems to me that maybe Grandma Allan has been busy seeing that this project of ours is brought to a successful conclusion. I think she’s been more a part of this than we realize.”
“Well, maybe your mom knows about what’s happening, but mine doesn’t.” Brenda said. “I’d better call her before it gets any later. If we’re not going to be able to sleep tonight, why should anyone else?”
The next hour or two were spent on the phone to Brenda’s parents and her brother and sister. By the time they finished talking, it was really too late to call anyone else. Doug’s brothers and sister would have to wait for a while to hear the good news. The rest of the night was spent planning what items would need to be purchased for the new arrival, what things they already had that would need to be pulled out of storage, and then what to name their new daughter. Sleep was not an object anymore. The more they talked about the evening’s developments, the more sure they became that their search had ended. The more they talked about the little girl they had never seen, the more their love for her grew.
As the Allans drove the more than two hundred miles on that crisp, cold January morning to meet their sweet LeiLoni, a pair of small, dark, tear filled eyes were looking down from the spirit world. Whitney’s eyes were not tear soaked from sadness, but from gladness and excitement in knowing that the ball was now rolling towards her upcoming journey to earth. She knew that Doug and Brenda would soon realize that LeiLoni would need a little sister that looked like her. One who could be her friend and companion through the tough growing up years. Whitney knew that her earthly family would find a way to bring her to them. She had faith in them and in her Father in Heaven. After all, He has a nack in making things work out. So thus ended Loni’s journey to earth, and now began Whitney’s. But that’s another story and another miracle.


We know very little about the spirit world. We know there is a pre-mortal life and there is a life after death. But there has been placed a veil of forgetfulness between us and that spirit life. Every once in a while this veil becomes very thin and we have experiences which allow us to view small portions of the world beyond this shroud.
The Allans were fortunate enough to receive a few of these manifestations. These spiritual experiences that have been talked about on these few pages actually happened. The stories about the Allan family are not fictitious or fabricated. However the accounts of Loni, Grandma Ruby and Whitney in the spirit world are merely speculation about what could have been happening to prepare these two little spirits to come to this earth. We know that a little girl did visit Brenda while she was pregnant with Kendal. A white dove did comfort Doug and Brenda when they needed it the most. Doug did hear his mother’s voice and the letter to the birth mother did mysteriously appear on the case worker’s desk. These things are fact, what caused them is....well, you decide.
We lived as spirits before this earth, we live with a physical body as sons and daughters of a living God on this earth, and we will continue to live as spirits and later as resurrected beings after this life. Our Heavenly Father is watching over us, He knows us, each one of us and cares about us. Trials will come, this is part of the plan. Our responsibility is to do all we can to over come these trials and to pray with all our might for help from our Father in Heaven. Between God, family and self, any foe can be conquered.
Miracles happen every day. All we need to do is open our eyes and see them. They will continue to happen, not only to the Allan family, but to all who wish to receive them. Life itself is a miracle. The earth is a miracle, from the sand on the ocean floor to the snow covered mountain peeks. Miracles have happened daily from the first breath of Father Adam to the first cry of the newest born baby.
If you feel you have had no miracles in your life, get on your knees and ask God to show you the miracles around you. And if you open your mind and soul, you will see all the marvelous things our Father has given us. Then He will open your heart and give you the greatest miracle of all. The knowledge that we are all His children. ALL OF US!! It doesn’t matter what we look like, our spirits come from the same home and the same Father. This is the greatest miracle of all. This knowledge of who we are, where we came from and where we are going. All of the world’s miracles don’t have a lot of significance in our lives unless we have been blessed with this special gift of understanding our true purpose of life. People who posses this gift can use it to help bring about many other miracles in their lives and in the lives of all those around them.
There have been many miracles performed and witnessed since the world began. Many have been highly acclaimed, some have gone unnoticed. It has been said that a miracle is nothing more than an occurrence or happening that is not understood by our limited knowledge of this and other universes God has created. To those of us who have little or no understanding of how thousands of pounds of raw material are put together to form a jumbo jet that seemingly glides through the air with little or no effort, it would seem a miracle. But to those who make building those magnificent mechanical birds part of their lives, it’s certainly no miracle. It’s just the final product of many hours of hard work and years of preparation. Maybe someday, if we work hard enough and prepare properly, we’ll be able to understand how so called miracles are performed. Maybe we’ll understand the miracle of birth. The miracle of bringing a spirit from the presence of our Father in Heaven, and giving it a body, and seeing that that precious little soul is able to be with it’s chosen family, no matter how difficult the circumstances may have been.
The miracle in this story may not have been heralded by angels or foretold by the prophets of old. It may not have been witnessed by the multitudes, or shouted from the roof tops. But to the Allans, the feel of their infant daughter’s soft skin, the look in her big cocoa brown eyes, and the soft cry of her angelic voice is just as much a miracle as Christ’s walking on the water or the healing of the leper. They had been witnesses to other miracles. One each time one of their four boys had been born in the years gone by. And now with this tiny little girl, their little Leiloni in their arms, they have been participants in, and witnesses to yet another miracle.